Alternate reality Algebra Huxley grows up in London. He is born in 1993 and kids make fun of him for being “ugly” at school. After a school event some of his peers hold him down and write “FUG” on his forehead in permanent parker.
Alternate reality Algebra is obsessed with ABBA from an early age. He knows all of their songs by heart and, because his parents are always working, he sings them in his home. Loudly. He records himself with his computer mic and posts his singing online, anonymously.
He hears that X-Factor is holding auditions in his town and his mates on Tumblr convince him to try out. He shows up to the first day’s audition. He vomits in line and leaves immediately.
The second day he shows up again. He stands in line for eight hours. He tries out for the judges, whom he does not recognize. They have no visible reaction. He is thanked for his 30 seconds and leaves, dejected.
The next week he’s called back to appear on the show. Algebra is surprised and terrified at the same time.
Immediately he knows which song he’ll sing.
Algebra Huxley will sing “Lay All Your Love On Me” by ABBA.
Finally the day of X-Factor taping begins. The first four contestants before him are terrible. He knows that these shows will have a string of bad performers to build suspense and then show a truly great act as a release.
"Algebra Huxley to the stage," a hand announces from behind their clipboard.
His stomach is in his throat. His hands are shaking and he’s unable to breathe.
The judges patronize him. They know he’s ugly. The audience knows he’s ugly. They ask him questions about his aspirations as a superstar but everyone knows he’s missing the look. Algebra makes it through the questioning and, as the music begins, he knows he’s about to show the audience something truly special.
"I wasn’t jealous before we met…"
The audience audibly gasps. Even above the booming sound system and stage monitors he can hear their shock.
"Now every woman I see is a potential threat…"
The audience engulfs him in rapturous applause. The judges are slack-jawed.
"And I’m possessive, it isn’t nice
You’ve heard me saying that smoking was my only vice
But now i……”
Algebra’s head splits open and millions of salamanders pour out of his neck. The audience screams but it is too late for them. Within moments everyone in the auditorium is dead.
ABBA’s “Lay All Your Love On Me” plays on in the background.
my least favorite thing that came with cell phones and texting is the expectation to be social 24/7
we all carry around devices that allow us to be contacted at any time, without warning or context
if you aren’t feeling social and don’t respond to a text, it can be interpreted as rude, despite the fact that you didn’t have any say in whether or not that conversation should happen at that time
sometimes i just wanna spend time by myself
Thank you for being patient with me using this website to advertise my music. I know that some of you are seeing news about Blighter Days every 15 seconds on your feed and, mercifully, nobody has complained about it.
The reason I do it is because every time I do someone else finds out about it for the first time. Or they remember and take the time to listen to it. We all lead very busy lives and we’re constantly assaulted with advertisements and news so the fact that anybody out there notices what I’m doing and takes the time to hit play is a big deal to me. I’m so lucky to be connected to you.
For the next half hour Blighter Days will be “pay what you will” which means that you can download it for free but that tips are encouraged! www.wolfinaspacesuit.com